A very personal review of 2011

It is with really mixed emotions that I look back on 2011. It has been both the hardest and best year of my life. Here are the high/low lights:

1. My maternity leave started in January, and not a moment too soon, as my stress levels were through the roof. To alleviate boredom I had enrolled on a distance learning course, which I have enjoyed. So much, that I am dreading my return to work in the next week.

2. My little girl was born. She was the result of my third pregnancy, the other two never having made it. She was almost a full kilo over predicted weight - so scanning machines can lie, even 3 days prior to birth.

3. I spent a horrible few days in maternity ward being bullied by midwives.

4. My return home was the most wonderful moment in my life up to then.

5. But then I fell really ill and spent far too long in intensive care, cut off from the world. I have however now experienced some things I only ever hoped to see on TV : being bluelighted, transfusions, being seconds from death, emergency surgery and all the noise that goes with it, waking up during surgery, a coma, waking up on life support and an amazingly quick recovery. I was home within a week of surgery - the minute I was able to walk and feed myself I was out of there. And then started my campaign to get people to donate blood. I also learned how freaking wonderful nurses and doctors are. How calm they remain and how they are able to hide their fears for the patient from the patient. I also believe I was a valuable lesson in how to deal with patients for certain interns.

6. Beating number 4 in the most wonderful moment of my life was the return home to my baby girl and lovely husband, who had been my absolute rock during the previous two weeks and years before, and ever since. Just before they put me under I didn't honestly think I would see them again. Sometimes you have to go to hell and back (literally!) to realise how lucky you are.

7. Ever since then appreciating every single day, honestly. Every smile, every new thing my daughter does. She is now 9 months old and I have fallen in love with her a hundred times over. And the great thing is so does everyone who meets her. She is so smily, so chirpy and a real chatterbox. She has transformed our lives from being pretty cool and fun and full of love, to being more wonderful and loving and happy than we could ever have hoped for. I am so glad I survived to see this, and will be able to continue watching her grow.

8. My writing has improved, my blog has gained followers, and new ambitions have been born. A return to coaching and training, with some writing chucked in for luck, and a firm resolution to never allow myself to be so stressed from outside influences again. Now all I need is time to get it all set up.

So, to hell and back, but still the best year of my life.

2012 will see me return to work, and the rest will be a surprise.

Other resolutions? Well, I won't be cooking a new recipe every day, that's for sure. I'll stick with my Day Zero project. I'm already doing pretty well, and will share some of it soon.

May the end of 2011 be memorable, and may 2012 kick 2011's ass and bring wonderful times for everyone.