A rant about being a woman

OK, I wasn't going to say anything about this, as the internet is practically bleeding stories about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and quite frankly I'm not that interested in the private lives of slebs because my own is more than interesting enough thank you very much. Plus there are other bloggers who have blogged about this story far far better than I can hope to (do go and read that, it's excellent) but the subject has been bothering me so much I actually wasn't able to think about anything else to blog about, hence yesterday's lack of a post.

But then I just clicked onto the Daily Mail website this morning - I know, I said I wasn't going to talk about them anymore, but sod that, we all make promises we can't keep. Look at Rupert Sanders. The silly man made a promise to love honour and whatever his wife. He couldn't be expected to keep that promise could he? He's a man, after all. Men aren't expected to keep to their vows if they stray into the path of a wicked temptress.

Anyway, so Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders were caught kissing, some pap snapped them and sold them on and will no doubt be able to keep himself well supplied in mars bars for the foreseeable future on the proceeds. There is so far no evidence of there being any more to their relationship than this afternoon snogfest. So far. You can imagine their other halves might be quite distressed though, especially Rupert's wife and children. Robert Pattinson is also, no doubt, distraught - even if you're not married, fooling around with someone else is still a betrayal. But it is, essentially, a private matter.

The story has been splashed across the tabloids, as private matters can be expected to be, and there has been sympathy for Robert and Liberty Ross (had to look up her name as she appears to have already been relegated to minor mentions) and outrage, contempt and disgust at Rupert and Kristen. There have been public apologies from both parties, and gleeful reporting of Kristen wandering about in tears and Robert packing his bags and cutting off contact with his wicked girlfriend.

So, who is to blame for this sorry affair? You'd think the person to take the brunt of the criticism would be the older, wiser, married father, wouldn't you? He is the one breaking his vows and abusing a position of trust. He was, after all, the director of the film they worked on together, and the director, directs, i.e. tells the actors what to do. He may not have been paying her salary, but on a day to day basis he was her boss. I'm not saying Kristen Stewart is a naïve teenager, but she's not far off, and she is certainly young and still at an impressionable age.

Unfortunately for Kristen she is a woman, and therefore being blamed for the whole affair. Seriously. She is now the subject of some pretty vile abuse, and it's not all coming from internet trolls. Well, that depends on your definition of troll. Respected columnist Jan Moir, for example, has written a piece which finally pushed me over the edge this morning headlined "Move over Angelina Jolie, a new home wrecker is on the prowl!" Next to that on the sidebar of shame is a headline reporting that Stewart took Sanders' kids for an ice cream at some point. Aside the fact she was working both with the director and his wife at the time, this is being made into proof that the affair has been going on for, like, ages. The bad, evil woman. Now, if I were a man, and having an affair, I'd keep the children away from the mistress - kids are so perceptive. But no, K-Stew was obviously trying to win them over. Hmm. Yeah.

Now, I am not saying that what went on is right. But I am saying that heaping nine tenths of the blame onto Kristen Stewart is unfair. At the very least, shouldn't blame, if we have to apportion it, be equally shared? In my books the one who is most at fault is the older, married, father of two. He has more to lose, and has put more happiness of other people at stake. Robert Pattinson might be a very nice person, but let's face it, they aren't married (despite them being married in their film) and don't have kids. If he can't put the problem behind him and work to fix his relationship, then he will have no problem finding a new relationship (sorry though, I'm married. And pregnant. I'm unavailable. He'll have to get over that  too.) Kristen Stewart may live to regret losing the love of her life, but she's 22 and let's face it, plenty of us have lost what we have considered to be loves of our lives and bounced back to find someone even better.

As it is we can all wait on the edge of our seats to see what happens next. The tabloids will do their best to break up Hollywood's golden couple - a break up is far far more interesting than a reconciliation because without a break up you can't have the expensive pap shots and endless articles speculating on new loves. And while they are waiting for it to happen they will persecute Kristen Stewart as being the villain in the story. Why? Because she is a woman. She is the one who has done wrong. Harlot. Homewrecker. Temptress. We can drag out old rumours of casting couches, or just invent some. We can warn the directors of her future films to look out because if they don't they might suddenly find their flies open and their marriages wrecked before they can say "Open your legs, love" and it will be through no fault of their own.

There's nothing the press loves to destroy  more than a woman who has done wrong. I hope Kristen will ignore them, as hard it may be, and work on her relationship, if it is fixable, and otherwise go about with her life and hold her head up high. We all learn from our mistakes, and when it comes down to it her greatest mistake in all this is that she was born a woman.